The breaking point of who i am

Guest someone help me by telling me how much i grow in HIM...i went back and slept and i started to say 'i am a big girl'.One day i know had to walk alone without daddy but i still have HIM.I am still Mike Ng daughter.Daddy i love you.Therefore i will learn to leave things behind..my anger..my fury..no point anymore to be what i am tired to be..just make me tired..
I just want to go to HIM and say 'Let me follow YOU the right way'.Nothing much to say but i just could describe how big am i already..just wishing i will be with HIM earlier....
My friend sent me this message.'Fear not,for I am with you.
Be not dismayed for I am your god.I will strengthen you' Isaiah 41:10....nice of her..
Jesus always tell me.. never ever scare for I will be with through good and bad, for you are my son and my daughter, no one shall ever harm them because I love all of you no matter how much good and bad things you have done...hold ME tight never let go..always believe that you are no alone..girl every test is to make you a better person and a tougher person,Take this as a present and reward...you may something in between but in the end here always a bigger reward behind..

i change to someone better

Things might not change that fast...i am just a normal human being who hunger from HIM everyday.i still comit sins which i always cause my dad to have lots of trouble..today i woke up...i heard his calling and woship HIM on my balcony..even though the devil never gave up in torturing my mentality with my past..well i tell u what you little devil'YOU GONNA LOSE THIS GAME!!!'...I want to be with HIM and bring the one i love to be with HIM.It will happen and will happen soon cause it is JESUS plan for me..HE is the...HE will SHOW IT ..IT is not impossible but everything is possible...I BELIEVE JESUS is my life!!!!my WAY!!!!...My life!!!!HE IS MY DADDY...MY SAVIOUR...MY HERo..MY EVRYTHING

Isolation brings reflection

This semester i really dont know wat triggers me to be alone..maybe thats the turning point where Jesus want me to do reflection..a reflection for who i had been for all my lifes..for what i repent for doing it again..my sin nature..what pushes me towards the darkerst side of my life..what pushes me to become for what i am not...this may be a good turning or just another life jeopardising moment..Lord.. i came to you in bare hand with nothing to offer..for you have save this sinner..i hold my hand up leaving all my life to you..lord hold me and protect me from the inside out...forgive my sin..bring me a life of joy and life of worshipping you.. i want to change my life for you for i leave here for you...my journey to Jesus never ends even tough it had to be a muddy ones...i believes you are the truth for you had save me!!!

it pierces through my heat and soul

I knew Dad been through lot of tough times.Today i hear the strength of a dad to hold on for what he not deserves.i tear his heart.i made him sad.But he is my best Friend and the greatest living dad on earth.Last Monday,Daddy had to go to court regarding my little brother's custody.I could imagine this.He was thinking so much.Even after the divorce,she still haunts him.she lives a luxury life and we lives in a pethatic life but we made out the best with what we have.we still quarell among siblings but that what hurts the most to daddy.He made the biggest turning point by raising 5 of us with his own bare hand and she made the most joy in her life by living us.i will never forget that.On the way to court,my dad droves my sisters in her old toyota car that barely living with no aircond.It was hot and the car only moves 90kmph.Then a hyundai car came and overtake them.It was ny mom who sue my father for money.i wonder why he had to suffer and she living with a gold spoon in her mouth...i cant blame life..i just pray and pray..right now i dont barely know what is she in my life..this matter had tear me apart from who i believes i suppose to be..i wonder how this old man (daddy) get his strength.. how his can hold tight,how he can firmly stand when everyone turn against him.. i cant do anything to saves me but my prayer will always be with him for he shall be protect by Jesus..Jesus only will protect for whom had being frame..for whom who will turn to him whenever problem rises.. for whom turn to him for always....Daddy i love you for who you are..i am so sad for things t hapen this way.. ibelieves when you go up there..Jesus will love you more and for we are here..(earth) just a passing by..daddy your hardwork and love overcomes everything.i wish we will meet in heaven and we shall unite as one with everyone you love.forgive them for what they have done...for shall lord will present you values in your life.i believes in you Jesus..and Daddy ..you always my best daddy forever.. i will never forget you till my last breath..Jesus take him in abundance peaceful life.daddy deserves it.i love him so much and i prayer hard with a loud and confidence in me Jesus shall save him and and he will and in the nearest time live in peaceful abundance life.he will and do it!!

i no longer for who i am

i started off my day very blur with no purpose.I felt like a Robot doing things that i never comand myself to do.i read my Nursing reference book.my soul is so empty.i took the bible and read chapter Acts.Jesus taught me of the word trust,believes and faith.My spirit shatters.I am so low in spirit and my heart barely shout out loud to HIM.I dont know what was I doing..i Just hug my Bible ..holding and gripping my cross.my mind was blank.In the afternoon,my friend sent me an e-mail regarding test result.Iwas so scared and thats what haunt me for the ast few weeks.I always tell people I am in Here because Jesus had plan for me everything.He knows want i want and He wants me to be safe.And today i can even dare to plan to quit if i can pass my score for this test.Dad has been through tough times to put me here.Jesus as well.i am sorry to trouble everyone.Then i decided to go to universitty to collect my result and THE most suprising thing is 'IT IS NOT OUT YET'.and it really test my confidence towards HIM.I fail.i find my santuary in my room.i knelt down and pray..i cry but wast me at all..i realise i was no longer i am ..i change..

my faith

today 6/4/2009..my day was without any purpose.i felt tired ..everything i do wasnt under my brain instruction.i read the bible chapter Acts...i see what Jesus want to tell me ..patience and faith..worrying about my family and test..regretting my act ..Jesus and my soul tell me to shout out loud i believe i can do it...i never shout in my soul cause i wanted to give time to myself to learn and be confident without who i believe who whole heart.. i believe Jesus...i want Jesus so much..thats all i want..i want to speak out loud i love you Jesus and you are my hero,my everything that i coudnt describe with words