i do .. i do

today was suprising...the first time i watch xiaxue marriage video..i was kinda ermm say to myself..i might wanna settle down one day with someone that Jesus arrange for me..i was hoping i really get what i want especially the ones that really fits my criteria...hmmm i definitely wants to go for a stable ones..makes me misses scott J so much but too bad he not into Jesus just like i wanted it..things dont go the way you want it...the road will never be straight..
here's a thing that i got from somewhere after thinking about it...



i want A MAN ....
who Loves Jesus more than me

a man who knows how to appreciate the things I do for him.
a man who pampers me with something that money can't buy
a man who knows his mistakes and try to make it right.
a man who can be my pillow whenever i need someone to lean on.
a man who knows when to give in and let down his pride.
a man who'd communicate, listen and respond
a man who respects me, my family and his.
a man who enjoys what life has to offer.
a man who can say yes or no instead of 'anything'.
a man who won't keep me waiting though the day or night.
a man who (at least) try figure out what's going on inside me and resolve it.
a man who help the relationship work when it gets tough
a man who'd never lay his hand on woman
a man who works hard and plans well for his future
a man who is motivated
a man who doesn't treat me like a child
a man who doesn't easily give up
a man who love me for what i am instead of trying to change me into his image.
a man who takes responsibility for his actions
a man who gives me freedom that I need.
a man who loves me with no doubts.

i do???????

the silent moment

this is where i want to be...be silent forever.once we strike ..we will never go back from where we belong

Today is Today..Tommorow is Tommorow

Today someone ask me..which part of my life i wanna change...lots..lots that i regret but one thing i will never change is Jesus and my daddy.i wish there's always a turning..god has HIS plan...i woldnt meet HIM if my parents is not divorced.i wouldnt positive if HE never drill m up wit family problems and money. i sat with Praveena and told her how i wish i could have start from zero to build my own identity...i hated how my family used to be and even now..i tired telling lies that my family is a happy family.deep down..my father ..this little short boy tore of his heart and break his heart few trillion times i could have seen..For what such reason that Jesus wanna drill this old man..but one miracle i could see it coming is daddy approaching HIM slowly..i am happy despite of all the fuss made up by other people even his own blood...why people say children is the greatest gift..i would have say child is not the greatest for my dad...how i wish to say to people to leave my dad alone ..stop torturing him.Jesus ..i beg you to have mercy on him my father..i love you Jesus for you have taken care of us.we are not that strong for you to drill us but i glad we learn through a lot.hope people out there knows how to appreciate.

i would wanna change who my mom is..i am sorry to say so..i would wanna change who is my big sister is..i would wanna change my name ..i would wanna change my citizen...i would wanna CHange and change everything i have...do i have any...Yes i have Jesus and Daddy to be with me...

But you know what..i faith in Jesus..things gonna be alright and better ...not only alright..it is gonna be perfectly awesome.my family gonna come back in a better shape worshiping Jesus ..i just have to keep on believing

Daddy gonna live his life just the way he wanted it..He is too good..i hated it when there's no sense of appreciation..

i am tired and let her go ..

Wonder why human beings can think highly about themselves?when things go so damn wrong ,they actually thinks that there isn't a solution.They look up everything basically on their ego.they will never break their ego which they called them as the so call principal of life!they dont even know who they owe their life too....who are you to forget your old man that raise you up after a long time?so what a big deal if you get marry?what?it means that you are the property of your useless husband or wife?listen up and look upon the bible...the word of lord..obey your daddy and your mother for a permanent joy in your life...Jesus states that!!!!thank you!!!put your ego attitude away and bow down to the earth for once...Family member will never harm you or you call them the so Ke Po but they care...If you no longer know how to draw the line to insult and appreciate your family member..back off and shall god bless your joy..think about it joy or happiness that you want!!!!joy ..i want forever with a person i want to obey is my dad!!!!be end with your rui life and shall god have mercy on you with what you done to your dad and yourself